someday

I'd like to sit and watch the sun set, then continue to sit until the sun rises.
What's the point of life if it's not beautiful?

Left 4 Dead

Oh.
My.
God.

I've been playing this game for 37.6 hours, according to Steam, in the last 10 days or whatever.
This does not include like 3 days when I was studying for tests and shit.
so on average 5 hours a day, which is significantly more than I usually play.

This shit is just so much fucking fun. Especially since my friends are getting it and coop and versus are infinitely better when you know someone has got your back.

I also updated my spray for the graffiti I did a while back:

It turns out really well in game. This is probably the best game I've played in a very long time. It's much better than counter strike because of the cooperation required, and because of the storyline that actually exists. Also, zombies. And versus mode is like crack when you're playing as the infected. much more skill and team strategy is required for an effective take down, and individual points don't matter nearly as much as the final objective of incapacitating or killing the survivors. You'll often have to act as bait when grabbing or pouncing survivors to lure them one way, focusing on one enemy, while a Boomer sidles up behind them and vomits all over. And then the other two allies attack, causing hell to break loose for the survivors.

And then you spawn as a tank and demolish the survivors.

Do I have any gripes? Not really. A lot of people whine on the forums about one aspect or another, but really they could be more productive killing zombies. A few bugs, but who the fuck cares? The weapons are a bit limited, but anything more would just be a novelty weapon or basically the same weapon reskinned. This is not a priority. What I *would* like to see would be more maps released regularly, which they promised, and maybe a tiny bit more storyline. I like the unique situations presented in the various maps, but I have yet to see one where the situation becomes a critical factor in the way you have to react. Generally it's just either "defend" or a lull where you regroup and heal. Maybe something where you have to use a sniper rifle to cover an ally while they do something, or have to swim across a river, so people will have to provide cover on the banks, because you can't shoot while swimming. I'm sure Valve can come up with plenty of creative elements.

Anyways everything is awesome when you've got 3 friends on your team and adrenaline is pumping through your system.

don't

use your fingers when measuring out curry.

It makes everything yellow.

yes please

Left 4 Dead coming out at 12:01.
Broken Social Scene on Thursday or some shit.
Too bad I've got a lot of chem work tonight, or I would be playing Left 4 Dead until the wee hours of the night, or more likely the break of dawn since it's teh wintar.

Oh and this. An example of life imitating art. A supreme and awesome form of art.

I definitely need to start cooking. I found the Krishna Lunch dressing recipe, or at least a close replica, according to the site. I also have bacon cubes, eggs, and whole wheat spaghetti. All I need is some Romano cheese to make delicious Carbonara.

whew...

everything is sorted out.
I take back what I said previously, most of it at least.
I still stand by my essay though.
now that I'm less busy I guess I can start posting about music again. I haven't even talked about the MBD concert.
But that's for another blog.
Ran into a bunch of high kids climbing a lamp post after watching Quantum Of Solace.
it was pretty entertaining.

okay

So I have my meeting about the disciplinary stuff tomorrow (well technically today). I'll withhold judgement until then, but the prospects aren't good.

When I scheduled the meeting he told me it was about the reflection paper that failed to meet the requirements (is it odd that a lot of stuff here "fails" to do something?) of the sanction. He didn't mention the 10 business days nonsense, but it's likely that it will come up.

So here are the likely scenarios:

1. Something technical about the paper, such as not being 3 complete pages. If they are really that nit-picky about it, I'll apologize and offer to redo it, but I still think additional failure to comply charges are unnecessary. This would just be really dumb. Yes, the prompt said 3 pages minimum, but this is the same argument as the soccer ball incident. Failure to comply, even though I didn't really do anything wrong.

2. They did not think my paper contained enough remorse. Okay this is the one I'm dreading, because I'll probably end up arguing, which will probably do no good. I certainly don't think this would be a legitimate reason to add charges because in the prompt it asked for my opinions. If they wanted an apology letter, they should have asked for one. I addressed each part of the prompt, so they should have just let the matter drop. I agreed that complying with the instructions of UF Staff was important for safety reasons, and I said that had I seriously thought about it at the time, I would have stopped passing the ball. The only thing I disagreed about was the "failure to comply" charge. Note that I did not justify my actions, I just thought the consequences were too harsh. It is not right to ask for a person's thoughts then to punish him/her because you disagree. I could have been a tool and written 3 pages of bullshit to appease them, but instead I took the time to honestly and innocently express my thoughts, believing that the prompt allowed for differing points of view.

Also, I doubt they would have brought up the whole "10 business days" deal had I written an "acceptable" reflection paper. Unless that is just a mistake where they have no record that I attended a meeting it seems as if this is just another dirty way to get at me for disagreeing with the verdict.

Before I get too far into how many types of wrong the second situation would be, I'll go to that meeting. I'm going to be VERY disappointed and upset if I come out with still the 3 failure to comply charges though. If that happens then the administration is either too caught up in it's own policies to be able to deviate from them at all, or they just don't give a damn about circumstances, which would be in accordance with my views complaints all along.

I just hope things won't get negative during this meeting, because I'm definitely not going to just sit there and take shit from them. Especially not if they value policy over reason. In that case then no matter how much I argue they will just spout the pertinent policy and refuse to budge. And in that case they won't be likely to remove those two failure to comply charges.

Hopefully this Brian Trutschel will have a LITTLE more decision making power/ability/will than the previous staff members I've encountered.

FUCK.

So I got this in my UF inbox yesterday.

Seems a bit harsh doesn't it?
I've already complained about the events leading up to this to a lot of people, but if I haven't ranted to you, here's the general story (without the usual obscenities I would throw in):

I was passing a soccer ball with Jeremy outside of Hume Commons when some woman walks by and suggests that we could break one of the windows, so we should move it to the field, etc. Since passing a soccer ball obviously wouldn't break a window, we ignored her and continued to pass the ball.

A few minutes later, the RA on duty walks out and tells us that we're being "documented" for "failure to comply" with a UF official. He doesn't care that we obviously wouldn't have broken the window, it was just that we didn't listen to that lady, who never identified herself as an "official", and she didn't give off the impression that stopping was an imperative.

At this point I feel like things have gone slightly too far, since we were just passing a soccer ball. A few days later, however, I get a letter stating that I was due for an "informal" judicial meeting. Okay, that's acceptable. It says informal so I'll just go explain and clear everything up. I meet with Kelly Sullivan, who is nice enough, and I give my side of the story. I didn't deny the "failure to comply" charge, I just said that she wasn't clear enough about it and the whole event was out of proportion.

That was pleasant enough, and I thought I would just get some reprimand or something. I wait for a long time, while Jeremy receives his punishment, which was a "reflection essay", and completes it. I, on the other hand, have not received anything. After another wait I receive an email stating that I have a letter being held for me at the Hume Office. Since the letter for the meeting was delivered in this method, I thought that I would finally get my assignment. I went and picked up the letter the next day, and it turns out that my essay was due ON THE PREVIOUS DAY. That obviously wouldn't work too well, so I emailed Kelly Sullivan about it and asked for an extension. She at first says that I've had a notice in my box for 2 weeks, and I should check my email and mailbox daily. Funny thing, I do that, and I didn't receive any notices, which I tell her.

She then says, oops, never mind about the box, I was sent 2 emails a while ago and I should pay more attention. Feeling like arguing further would be pointless, I tell her while I don't believe I was sent those emails, I appreciated the extension and would do it promptly.

The essay was supposed to be about why it is important to comply with UF officials and my reflections on the incident. I briefly addressed the first part, saying that safety was of the utmost importance for officials, and continued on to the second part. Then again I explained my views that it was out of proportion and the lady wasn't clear enough. I also added that throughout the process it seemed like I was treated more as a case and less as an individual, since any rational thinking would have logically dictated the dismissal of my actions as harmless.

So no, I wasn't as apologetic as they probably would have liked, but I felt like no one was really listening to what I was saying. They found it easier to just do what was standard, assuming I had "failed to comply" with something important, tacking on the standard punishment, and expecting a repentant essay in return. And when I didn't meet the "requirements", they continued to prove my point by tacking on two additional "failure to comply" charges and a hold on my services, right as registration is about to go into full swing. No doubt if these charges stick I'll have to do additional assignments that are probably more severe, because an essay is for a first time offence. And I have 3 tests in the next 3 days, and a shitload of other stuff to do. I don't want to bitch about it, but how much more clearly can you say "bend over"?

Now I don't know for sure if that is why I got this message, but a brief look at what has already happened tends to support that conclusion. Even though I HAVE attended the meeting and turned in a reflection paper that clearly met the requirements, the fact that I wasn't apologetic enough (to them) clearly indicates that I'm one of those unrepentant bastards that has to be broken. I'd be willing to bet that if I turned in some bullshit that was full of fucking remorse they would have happily told me "have a nice day, don't get into more trouble" regardless of whether or not I meant it. I expressed what I felt and was therefore punished for it.

The administration here does not think in term of individuals, there are too many people. Nor does the administration promote individual thinking, as is clearly shown by this series of actions. keep in mind that I have nothing against the faculty or the classes. I think I am being stimulated and challenged in my academics, it's just the administration of this place that really gets to me.

They could have simply called me up and told me, no, you need to write a more remorseful letter, but instead they decided to just put two more charges on my record, both of which come with their own punishments, and if they stay there I won't be able to get the charges stricken from my record, since I can only have 1 charge to get things stricken. So they could have possibly fucked me over by screwing my graduate school applications FIRST SEMESTER OF FRESHMAN YEAR over an event that would normally have merited a warning or something. I mean, how good do 3 "failure to comply" charges look? 1 *might* have been acceptable, but 3 in one semester just seems like I'm unbalanced and incapable of working with people.

Fuck it may sound like I've exaggerated things, but I swear I have not changed any of the facts. My opinions are obviously biased, but I honestly think that in this case my opinions are right.

ugh. I may as well start my move to Canada and become a musician or some shit. Then no one really cares if you "fail to comply" with UF officials.

message

Monday, November 10, 2008, 10:00 am

ROLAND WANG
20032201 HUME HONORS WEST
GAINESVILLE, Florida 32612-2001

Dear ROLAND:

My office recently received a report concerning your involvement in an incident on Saturday, September 13, 2008. According to the report, you were allegedly involved in failing to comply with a University official. Due to the allegations, you are being charged with violating the following section(s) of the University of Florida Student Code of Conduct (Rule 6C1-4.016, University of Florida Regulations):

Residence Halls Community Standards 2008-2009/(2)P.05 FAILURE TO COMPLY/(2)P.05/a - Students and their guests must comply with a University Official's request when such official is working within the performance of his or her duties. University Officials include any Housing and Residence Education staff members, regardless of job title.,
Residence Halls Community Standards 2008-2009/(2)P.05 FAILURE TO COMPLY/(2)P.o5/b - Students are required to schedule and/or maintain appointments with staff members when asked to do so in conjunction with the staff members’ duties.

You were sent a letter on informing you of your responsibility to schedule an informational meeting within within ten business days. As of today, you have failed to do so and acquire an additional charge of (2)P.05b Failure to Comply.

The reflection paper received did not meet the requirements set forth in your hearing and sanctioning letter. Please call to schedule a meeting. You have received an additional charge of P.05/B Failure to comply with a directive from a University Official.

Be advised that a hold has been placed on your student records that will remain in effect until you attend this meeting. Depending on the nature of the allegations and your status as a student, this hold will restrict your ability to register, receive transcripts, graduate, and attend athletic events on campus. Pursuant to University of Florida Regulation 6C1-4.016, failure to schedule an appointment or attend the scheduled appointment, could result in a decision made in your absence and/or assignment of appropriate sanctions. Therefore, it is imperative that you call this office as soon as possible and schedule an appointment at (352) 392-2171 ex. 10141.

Please read the enclosed pamphlet regarding the Residential Judicial Process before your scheduled meeting. To obtain more information about the Department of Housing and Residence Education Community Standards, please visit our website at www.housing.ufl.edu/housing/reslife_standards. The University of Florida Student Code of Conduct is also found online at www.dso.ufl.edu/judicial.

Sincerely,

Brian Trutschel
Residential Judicial Graduate Assistant

Obama's speech

probably one of the most amazing things I've heard.
here it goes:

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It’s the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It’s the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he’s fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation’s next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that’s coming with us to the White House. And while she’s no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics – you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you’ve sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to – it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington – it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn’t do this just to win an election and I know you didn’t do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime – two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they’ll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor’s bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you – we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can’t solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it’s been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years – block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek – it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it’s that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers – in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, “We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.” And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world – our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down – we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security – we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America’s beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America – that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that’s on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She’s a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing – Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn’t vote for two reasons – because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America – the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women’s voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that “We Shall Overcome.” Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves – if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

ehh I think I blog about politics too much.
This wasn't supposed to be a political blog.
And I guess I'll start including more things.
In other news I don't have to move to Canada now, though I'm still considering it.

of the people, by the people, for the people.

omg what a rush.
I think the whole thing can be summed up by the phrase "yes we can".