someday

I'd like to sit and watch the sun set, then continue to sit until the sun rises.
What's the point of life if it's not beautiful?

Left 4 Dead

Oh.
My.
God.

I've been playing this game for 37.6 hours, according to Steam, in the last 10 days or whatever.
This does not include like 3 days when I was studying for tests and shit.
so on average 5 hours a day, which is significantly more than I usually play.

This shit is just so much fucking fun. Especially since my friends are getting it and coop and versus are infinitely better when you know someone has got your back.

I also updated my spray for the graffiti I did a while back:

It turns out really well in game. This is probably the best game I've played in a very long time. It's much better than counter strike because of the cooperation required, and because of the storyline that actually exists. Also, zombies. And versus mode is like crack when you're playing as the infected. much more skill and team strategy is required for an effective take down, and individual points don't matter nearly as much as the final objective of incapacitating or killing the survivors. You'll often have to act as bait when grabbing or pouncing survivors to lure them one way, focusing on one enemy, while a Boomer sidles up behind them and vomits all over. And then the other two allies attack, causing hell to break loose for the survivors.

And then you spawn as a tank and demolish the survivors.

Do I have any gripes? Not really. A lot of people whine on the forums about one aspect or another, but really they could be more productive killing zombies. A few bugs, but who the fuck cares? The weapons are a bit limited, but anything more would just be a novelty weapon or basically the same weapon reskinned. This is not a priority. What I *would* like to see would be more maps released regularly, which they promised, and maybe a tiny bit more storyline. I like the unique situations presented in the various maps, but I have yet to see one where the situation becomes a critical factor in the way you have to react. Generally it's just either "defend" or a lull where you regroup and heal. Maybe something where you have to use a sniper rifle to cover an ally while they do something, or have to swim across a river, so people will have to provide cover on the banks, because you can't shoot while swimming. I'm sure Valve can come up with plenty of creative elements.

Anyways everything is awesome when you've got 3 friends on your team and adrenaline is pumping through your system.

don't

use your fingers when measuring out curry.

It makes everything yellow.

yes please

Left 4 Dead coming out at 12:01.
Broken Social Scene on Thursday or some shit.
Too bad I've got a lot of chem work tonight, or I would be playing Left 4 Dead until the wee hours of the night, or more likely the break of dawn since it's teh wintar.

Oh and this. An example of life imitating art. A supreme and awesome form of art.

I definitely need to start cooking. I found the Krishna Lunch dressing recipe, or at least a close replica, according to the site. I also have bacon cubes, eggs, and whole wheat spaghetti. All I need is some Romano cheese to make delicious Carbonara.

whew...

everything is sorted out.
I take back what I said previously, most of it at least.
I still stand by my essay though.
now that I'm less busy I guess I can start posting about music again. I haven't even talked about the MBD concert.
But that's for another blog.
Ran into a bunch of high kids climbing a lamp post after watching Quantum Of Solace.
it was pretty entertaining.

okay

So I have my meeting about the disciplinary stuff tomorrow (well technically today). I'll withhold judgement until then, but the prospects aren't good.

When I scheduled the meeting he told me it was about the reflection paper that failed to meet the requirements (is it odd that a lot of stuff here "fails" to do something?) of the sanction. He didn't mention the 10 business days nonsense, but it's likely that it will come up.

So here are the likely scenarios:

1. Something technical about the paper, such as not being 3 complete pages. If they are really that nit-picky about it, I'll apologize and offer to redo it, but I still think additional failure to comply charges are unnecessary. This would just be really dumb. Yes, the prompt said 3 pages minimum, but this is the same argument as the soccer ball incident. Failure to comply, even though I didn't really do anything wrong.

2. They did not think my paper contained enough remorse. Okay this is the one I'm dreading, because I'll probably end up arguing, which will probably do no good. I certainly don't think this would be a legitimate reason to add charges because in the prompt it asked for my opinions. If they wanted an apology letter, they should have asked for one. I addressed each part of the prompt, so they should have just let the matter drop. I agreed that complying with the instructions of UF Staff was important for safety reasons, and I said that had I seriously thought about it at the time, I would have stopped passing the ball. The only thing I disagreed about was the "failure to comply" charge. Note that I did not justify my actions, I just thought the consequences were too harsh. It is not right to ask for a person's thoughts then to punish him/her because you disagree. I could have been a tool and written 3 pages of bullshit to appease them, but instead I took the time to honestly and innocently express my thoughts, believing that the prompt allowed for differing points of view.

Also, I doubt they would have brought up the whole "10 business days" deal had I written an "acceptable" reflection paper. Unless that is just a mistake where they have no record that I attended a meeting it seems as if this is just another dirty way to get at me for disagreeing with the verdict.

Before I get too far into how many types of wrong the second situation would be, I'll go to that meeting. I'm going to be VERY disappointed and upset if I come out with still the 3 failure to comply charges though. If that happens then the administration is either too caught up in it's own policies to be able to deviate from them at all, or they just don't give a damn about circumstances, which would be in accordance with my views complaints all along.

I just hope things won't get negative during this meeting, because I'm definitely not going to just sit there and take shit from them. Especially not if they value policy over reason. In that case then no matter how much I argue they will just spout the pertinent policy and refuse to budge. And in that case they won't be likely to remove those two failure to comply charges.

Hopefully this Brian Trutschel will have a LITTLE more decision making power/ability/will than the previous staff members I've encountered.

FUCK.

So I got this in my UF inbox yesterday.

Seems a bit harsh doesn't it?
I've already complained about the events leading up to this to a lot of people, but if I haven't ranted to you, here's the general story (without the usual obscenities I would throw in):

I was passing a soccer ball with Jeremy outside of Hume Commons when some woman walks by and suggests that we could break one of the windows, so we should move it to the field, etc. Since passing a soccer ball obviously wouldn't break a window, we ignored her and continued to pass the ball.

A few minutes later, the RA on duty walks out and tells us that we're being "documented" for "failure to comply" with a UF official. He doesn't care that we obviously wouldn't have broken the window, it was just that we didn't listen to that lady, who never identified herself as an "official", and she didn't give off the impression that stopping was an imperative.

At this point I feel like things have gone slightly too far, since we were just passing a soccer ball. A few days later, however, I get a letter stating that I was due for an "informal" judicial meeting. Okay, that's acceptable. It says informal so I'll just go explain and clear everything up. I meet with Kelly Sullivan, who is nice enough, and I give my side of the story. I didn't deny the "failure to comply" charge, I just said that she wasn't clear enough about it and the whole event was out of proportion.

That was pleasant enough, and I thought I would just get some reprimand or something. I wait for a long time, while Jeremy receives his punishment, which was a "reflection essay", and completes it. I, on the other hand, have not received anything. After another wait I receive an email stating that I have a letter being held for me at the Hume Office. Since the letter for the meeting was delivered in this method, I thought that I would finally get my assignment. I went and picked up the letter the next day, and it turns out that my essay was due ON THE PREVIOUS DAY. That obviously wouldn't work too well, so I emailed Kelly Sullivan about it and asked for an extension. She at first says that I've had a notice in my box for 2 weeks, and I should check my email and mailbox daily. Funny thing, I do that, and I didn't receive any notices, which I tell her.

She then says, oops, never mind about the box, I was sent 2 emails a while ago and I should pay more attention. Feeling like arguing further would be pointless, I tell her while I don't believe I was sent those emails, I appreciated the extension and would do it promptly.

The essay was supposed to be about why it is important to comply with UF officials and my reflections on the incident. I briefly addressed the first part, saying that safety was of the utmost importance for officials, and continued on to the second part. Then again I explained my views that it was out of proportion and the lady wasn't clear enough. I also added that throughout the process it seemed like I was treated more as a case and less as an individual, since any rational thinking would have logically dictated the dismissal of my actions as harmless.

So no, I wasn't as apologetic as they probably would have liked, but I felt like no one was really listening to what I was saying. They found it easier to just do what was standard, assuming I had "failed to comply" with something important, tacking on the standard punishment, and expecting a repentant essay in return. And when I didn't meet the "requirements", they continued to prove my point by tacking on two additional "failure to comply" charges and a hold on my services, right as registration is about to go into full swing. No doubt if these charges stick I'll have to do additional assignments that are probably more severe, because an essay is for a first time offence. And I have 3 tests in the next 3 days, and a shitload of other stuff to do. I don't want to bitch about it, but how much more clearly can you say "bend over"?

Now I don't know for sure if that is why I got this message, but a brief look at what has already happened tends to support that conclusion. Even though I HAVE attended the meeting and turned in a reflection paper that clearly met the requirements, the fact that I wasn't apologetic enough (to them) clearly indicates that I'm one of those unrepentant bastards that has to be broken. I'd be willing to bet that if I turned in some bullshit that was full of fucking remorse they would have happily told me "have a nice day, don't get into more trouble" regardless of whether or not I meant it. I expressed what I felt and was therefore punished for it.

The administration here does not think in term of individuals, there are too many people. Nor does the administration promote individual thinking, as is clearly shown by this series of actions. keep in mind that I have nothing against the faculty or the classes. I think I am being stimulated and challenged in my academics, it's just the administration of this place that really gets to me.

They could have simply called me up and told me, no, you need to write a more remorseful letter, but instead they decided to just put two more charges on my record, both of which come with their own punishments, and if they stay there I won't be able to get the charges stricken from my record, since I can only have 1 charge to get things stricken. So they could have possibly fucked me over by screwing my graduate school applications FIRST SEMESTER OF FRESHMAN YEAR over an event that would normally have merited a warning or something. I mean, how good do 3 "failure to comply" charges look? 1 *might* have been acceptable, but 3 in one semester just seems like I'm unbalanced and incapable of working with people.

Fuck it may sound like I've exaggerated things, but I swear I have not changed any of the facts. My opinions are obviously biased, but I honestly think that in this case my opinions are right.

ugh. I may as well start my move to Canada and become a musician or some shit. Then no one really cares if you "fail to comply" with UF officials.